Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Lint, and other things that happened.

Last night my husband Drake lint rolled his black pants during an NBA playoff game:

People are talking about it - it's on Twitter, Sports Illustrated, the entire world. My question is: Who doesn't keep a lint roller in their pocket/purse for immediate lint needs? Lint is a burden we don't have to shoulder alone, and he just so happened to want to look good for the camera. Can you blame him?

Not quite Jimmy Brooks.

Other things that are happening/have happened/won't stop happening: 
  • Justin Bieber is still an idiot
  • Kimye wants Beyonce in their wedding (honestly, who wouldn't)
  • Some social media professionals don't know how to use social media (looking at you US Airways)
  • Someone wrote heinous 1D fanfic that literally burned my eyeballs (more on that)
  • The Royal Baby and his chubby cheeks attended a playdate and it produced amazing GIFs
  • LindsLo can't keep her facts straight
  • Taco Bell still wins at everything
  • Tila Tequila is having a baby and I'm officially worried for humanity
  • Another sorority girl email was leaked and it was just as insane as the last one and we all care how insane it was
  • Selena Gomez unfollowed people on Instagram and IT WAS A THING THAT HAPPENED, YOU GUYS
  • James Franco maybe hit on an underage girl on Instagram as a publicity stunt, maybe was a creepo (we still love you no matter what, James)
  • Everything Beyonce is the best thing ever, and always will be
  • Snooki is pregnant again and it better be as cute as the first one

I put off reading After because I was afraid of it. I read Fifty Shades and, heinous writing aside, enjoyed it. I'm not ashamed to admit that I Christian Grey fangirl-ed out, because I did proudly jump on that bandwagon. I'm a reader of romance novels, the kind of books you would never see in your basic college English course (as an English major, I always preferred this type of reading to the classics, which would have gotten me stoned by my classmates). I have a "don't knock it 'til you try it" motto when it comes to the new thing in books.

After reading an article on Jezebel about the new One Direction fan fiction serial that was getting all of the attention, page views and movie rights, I went ahead and read it to satisfy my own morbid curiosity. Two chapters in, I nearly gauged out my own eyeballs. But I kept reading because who am I to judge? I soldiered on for three more chapters before giving up. Here is something Anna Todd said about her "novel"..
"I barely ever reread the chapter before posting because I overthink things and I feel like overediting or trying to use too many words can ruin the story."
Listen, I have no problem with people putting themselves out there with their writing, for putting the stories they have bouncing around in there heads down on paper for all of the internet to see. It takes balls to do that. Even if your writing is bad (and the writing in this is so, so terrible), I still say: YOU GO GURL.

However, in this case, I can't detach from the horrible characters enough to think that way. Aside from Tessa being possibly the most annoying female character ever written, Harry is also, for lack of a better term, portrayed as a douchenugget. Jezebel says it best: "Harry behaves at best like a prick, at worst like an abusive boyfriend in the making." He's borderline abusive and a total jerk and I can't ever see a character becoming a BBF with a personality like that. Points to Anna for putting her story out there, but I can't help but wonder if younger girls reading a story like that will think that it's okay for a guy to treat them that way.

If you want a recap, Jezebel described the story in one sentence and its really all you need to know: "Their romance progresses in fits and starts, but mostly: Harry is standoffish, Tessa is attracted but determined to stay away, Harry gets drunk and lets his guard down, they engage in some sexual act and repeat ad infinitum." I would also add "Tessa is a moron" to that, but that's just me.


Also, I'm going to start reviewing books because sometimes I read a book I really love and want to tell the WWW about it, and sometimes I read something I loathe so much I need another avenue to complain aside from my poor friends whose ears are probably bleeding because they really, really don't care.

Anyway, this:

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