Monday, July 15, 2013

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack.

So I know I haven't written anything in about eight months, but I guess that's what happens when you get a real-person job where you work non-stop for ten hours a day. All the work stress kind of sucked the life out of my funny bone.

But guess what? It's back.

And now, I've had long eight months of funny things to build up to this moment. So much has happened in celebrity pop culture life that it's impossible to quantify it all. And soon it will all implode into the mother of all news: the Royal Baby. I am so overwhelmed by trying to decide what to make fun of that I just want to lay down:


In more interesting news, it seems the silver-fox George Clooney is single again - and one must wonder what all of these women keep doing wrong. Elisabetta Canalis, Sarah Larson, Lisa Snowdon, Krista Allen, Rene Zellweger, not to mention the woman he actually married, Talia Balsam - all doing something to drive this beautiful man away. That, or he's a playa who doesn't want to get out of the game. 

Either way, the man can't won't keep a relationship going for longer than a few years and is notorious for his "I will never marry EVAAAA" statement. The man is 52, don't you think that if he was going to settle down, perhaps he would have done it by now? It's a shame, too, because I would make a wonderful wife.


I did a post awhile back about stupid names celebrities (and regular people) bestow upon their children, so I feel obligated to quickly mention Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's infant, North West. Aside from the fact that we have yet to see an image of the child, I can't help but wonder what they were thinking. Which is, I'm sure, how the entirety of the country who cares about this kind of stuff feels.

Drake Bell FTW.

The only birth more anticipated birth this year is the Royal Baby. That baby is so famous, he/she/it gets a title case name and its not even born yet. The entire country (and I'm sure all of England) is waiting on bated breath for the birth of this child and all I have to say is: it better not be ugly. Or named Right Middleton. Or something. It also has an app, apparently. I'm 24 years old and I don't have an app: what is wrong with this picture.


Also, Sharknado is a thing that happened.

This movie reminds me that Shark Week and is therefore acceptable

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