Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Queen Beyonce and the 107 year old woman..and butter.

So, more pregnancy rumors again this week. This time, someone saw Beyonce with a "baby bump" that was probably a result of the excellent meal she just consumed. Everyone is confused about the state of Queen B's womb, but I can't imagine the baby, if it happens to be real, would be any less perfect than her current child.

Though the genetically and musically gifted parents didn't sell photos of their child (they didn't profit from their offspring?! Insane!) I'm sure they could have made millions off of that face.

The wonder couple also recently hung out with President Obamz a few days ago at a fundraiser in NYC. It made millions of dollars and blah blah but it also produced this photo:

 If you've ever seen anything better than two of the most famous people ever and the President (plus that guy I don't know) dusting their shoulders off, I'd like to see it.

A lot of people criticize the Prez for being too social and caring more about his golf game than his presidential campaign. I say BS to that nonsense. He made millions of dollars that night and got to hang out with Queen B and Jay-Z - aka the couple who makes money and fabulousness by simply waking up in the morning. You want to get in with an American population that cares more about the state of Katie Holmes' marriage than the State of the Union, then hang out with the President and First Lady of Life, is what I say. Good going, Obamz. Good going.
In other breaking celebrity news, Kim K got a cat - an event that, of course, received national media attention. As it should.

And then someone took a picture of the world's most adorable child Mason cuddling with it.

If that doesn't cue the "awwwwww" I really don't know what will. That cats face+Mason=cuteness overload.
A woman named Juliana Koo is about to be 107 years old. This woman was born in 1905. You know what has happened since 1905? A lot of shit. This woman witnessed The Titanic, MAD wars, JFK's assassination, Nixon AND Clinton, The Great Depression, and so many other things I can't even start a list. She was alive when women were granted the right to vote. I wonder if she was surprised by all the technological innovations she's seen in her lifetime. I also wonder if she always knew cars weren't going to fly in 2012 and is currently saying "told all you morons."

She was alive when bathing suits looked like this:

Not this:

Anyway, her probably ridiculously large family is throwing here a seriously rockin' party to celebrate this INSANELY RARE event. I would ask this woman a million questions about her life. The first one being, "how the eff do you make it to 107?" Does she follow the Jillian Michaels work-out-and-eat-healthy mantra or the Paula Deen butter-butter-everywhere-your-argument-is-invalid-because-butter recipe for success? She says,

"No exercise, eat as much butter as you like and never look backwards."

Butter it is! This woman is 107, I'm going to listen to  her and go have four cupcakes and some fried chicken. 

And also this shoe!

And finally, a man who can't play Jenga Mitt Romney, always good for a laugh:

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