Thursday, September 20, 2012

Ryan Reynolds. Your argument is invalid.

The speculation surrounding Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' surprise wedding has hit a peak this week with the BRAND NEW INFORMATION about a possible pregnancy. That would make it a shotgun wedding, ya'll.

Except for that her rep says she's not pregnant. DUH. Following reports that maybe she's eating a bit more than usual these days, a "source" claims those close to her are on "bump watch." That's what reporters gossip hounds are using as their evidence."Last night she had a cheeseburger and not a salad, so she must be preggers!" Really. That's it.

Instead, perhaps she got married because Ryan Reynolds is a COMPLETE STUDMUFFIN. Have these "sources" even seen him? I would marry Ryan Reynolds if he said so much as a hello to me, much less actually took me on a date. Or multiple dates. For a year.

Marry me? I don't care about your other wife.
Maybe we should stop speculating about who is pregnant (Princess Kate? I wish!) and just wait until they blow up to three times their normal size. I think that's good evidence, no?
Amanda Bynes is having a mental breakdown. And ya know what? I'm pretty sure she deserves it.
While I usually absorb celebrity news like a sponge the quality of news unsubstantiated gossip has gone down recently. I  miss the days where it wasn't speculation on who could maybe, possibly, be pregnant, but actual reporting unsubstantiated gossip about lying, cheating, scene stealing and Scientology. Either nobody is doing anything interesting lately or celebrities have hired themselves some kickass PR representation.

For example, Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson IN PUBLIC and isn't really any worse for the wear.

And finally:

Real television.

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