Thursday, August 16, 2012

Rich people are weird

If it were possible to become rich and spend every day sunning myself poolside with a drink and a book in my hand, I would do it. Call it a Trophy Wife, call it a Sugar Daddy, call it whatever you want. If you ask most of the women I know they will all tell you the same thing: they would choose that life over working all day 11 times out of 10.

Let's not get that desire confused with the compulsion to be born into a family with money and spend the entire day taking pictures that flaunt said money.  For example:
Yes, the total at the bottom of that receipt is over 100,000 dollars. It it entirely possible that unless some freak miracle happens I will never see that lump sum in my entire life. There is also this:

If you're gonna do it, fine. But do you have to put it on Instagram, where 50 million people who probably can't afford to bathe in champagne and suck on a perfectly good credit card, have to see it? I'm all about calling your friends to tell them you're bathing in a liquid normally meant for drinking, but until I become wealthy enough to have a pool of Kool-Aid, I don't want to see pictures of someone else with one.

I make an exception for this closet because WHO DOESN'T WANT A CLOSET THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS?

So I'm making this a double post today because I saw this picture on Pinterest and now I want to talk about it. Or what it made me think of (aside from the obvious: HOW CUTE).

Dear Girl Who Is A Size Eight: You are not fat. The End.

I was in H&M yesterday and I heard a girl, who was maybe a size 6 on a bad day, exclaim: "I AM SO FAT OHEMMGEE THOSE PANTS WOULD MAKE MY BUTT LOOK LIKE AN ELEPHANT!" Aside from the general inaccuracy of that statement, I was a little offended. Not only was my butt bigger than hers, but she was not even a little bit chunky in any way. You know who is fat? This man:

Do you look like that man? Then chances are, you're not fat.

What upsets me about this is not that our culture has transformed the norm for beauty from Marilyn Monroe to Kate Moss (though that is an upsetting topic for another time), it is that girls now feel the need to talk about how fat they are in order to get "No way you're so skinny!" compliments from their friends - and pretty much everyone else in their vicinity. How about this? Shut up and eat a sandwich.

There are people in this world who are actually fat and would kill to be able to wear those paisley print pants.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Plus, I love cupcakes. Win/win.

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